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Audience members would enter the auditorium only to find their
seats had been clawed and covered with fur.
The antagonist in the show would be a giant vacuum cleaner.
Sometimes the cast would perform, but sometimes not -- depending
on their mood.
Performers would leap off the stage and run up the aisles at the
recorded sound of a can opener in the lobby.
When certain audience members opened their playbills, a cast member
would attempt to lay down on it.
In the middle of a performance various cast members would curl
up and go to sleep, even in the middle of a song.
For no apparent reason, cast members would randomly run to the
lobby, and then back to the stage at top speed. They would then
continue as if nothing had happened.
A special audience member would find a headless bird in his/her
seat after the intermission.
Snack bar employees would constantly be reprimanding cast members
for walking on the counter.
Open the stall door and guess who is drinking from the toilet.
Part of the performance would include the cast climbing and shredding
the theater curtains.
The stage would be stained from someone coughing up a hairball
and then eating it.
Performers would find sand in the lobby ashtrays and -- well,
we don't have to draw a picture here, do we?
The show would need to be stopped several times to allow cast
members to "bathe" themselves.
Most of the final act would consist of the cast just staring at
the audience.
The big finale would feature a giant ball of yarn, feathers on
a pole, and stray strands of dental floss.
Theater patrons waiting outside the stage door after performances
would get their legs rubbed, if they were lucky.
Cast members would never cash their paychecks, just play with
them. {Thanks be to the Unknown Author}
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